I watched Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970) directed by Ted Post last night on TCM. It was the immediate follow-up to the original Planet the Apes (1968) directed by Franklin J. Schaffner. Unfortunately the story just doesn’t work. It was so awful even Charlton Heston, reprising his role as the time traveling astronaut Taylor, didn’t want to be in the film. Later, after studio executives met his demands, Heston agreed to appear in it only if his character was killed off. Seriously! There are however a few memorable moments in the film. Who can forget James Gregory’s portrayal of the power mad Gorilla General Ursus. Or Victor Buono as a telepath mutant who worships a nuclear missile in the ruins of a cathedral to dirge of an off key pipe organ. But the film ultimately falls apart. The ending seems tacked on after the “doomsday bomb” is set off a voice-over saying, “In one of the countless billions of galaxies in the universe, lies a medium-sized star, and one of its satellites, a green and insignificant planet, is now dead”. Who cares! Why did I watch this movie in the first place?…….Oh right. Linda Harrison.